Dear Barb, I have trouble explaining to clients why I charge additional fees for matting if I’m just shaving the dog anyway. Sometimes I won’t charge extra just to avoid the conversation. How do I explain the extra charge to clients?

Well, it’s the same reason my hairdresser charges extra to color the greys I don’t have when I go for my monthly perm. She claims it’s for the extra product and time needed. While I don't believe her about my ‘grey hairs,’ her words do pop to mind when I think about your question. Time is money, honey! Pre-clipping a matted coat takes longer than my delicates in a warm wash. And we need hands as gentle as my best knickers, especially when dealing with all those nooks and crannies!

Secondly, dirty and matted coats dull our blades—and no, I won’t relate that to my nether regions because I have a tidy toosh (TMI!). Sharpening costs us precious pennies, and the price per pooch goes up when we’re clipping matted coats. While I enjoy the extra trip to my blade sharpener (thanks to its proximity to Nifty Knick Knacks), even a fashionista can only collect so many novelty earrings.

Now, let’s talk pamphlets. These can be our de facto spokesperson on the matting matter, and the fact you’re not already using them? Criminal. But you know Barb is here to help, Doll.

igroomhub has a matting pamphlet that explain this clearly—maybe with less fun than I’ve had here, but you can’t always preach with pizazz, especially in a pamphlet. Have a sticky-beak for yourself here.

You can purchase the matting brochures on their own or, like Mr. Taylor at Friday Night Fish and Chips, get one with the lot! A mixed bag of client education brochures covering common grooming conundrums.

And just to answer your questions:

• Yes, I married myself a Taylor.

• Yes, he’s a tall, cool glass of water.

• Did I need to hyphenate my name since it’s the same? Not necessarily.

• But does Barb Taylor-Taylor dance on the tongue like a perfect prosecco? You can be the judge of that.

Till next time, darlings, Barb-bye!

P.S. Three blunt #7F blades landed me these new earrings, and yes, Nifty Knick Knacks, I would be open to a sponsorship agreement.