“Why Does My Dog’s Haircut Cost More Than My Own?”

Our office wunderkind, Mel, has penned a poem in response to this oft-asked question!

Thank you for that pearl of wisdom,
Before you claim our prices are too steep,
We’d like to explain to you our job,
and why we think we’re too darn cheap.

Of course we love our hairdressers,
And we would never normally compare,
But since you dropped that comment,
We think it’s only fair.

When we walk into their salon,
They don’t carry us to our ‘chair’,
We aren’t checked top to tail,
Or we’d need much nicer underwear.

If our hairdresser finds some headlice,
They don’t need to call our mum,
When our hairdresser smells some poo,
They don’t need to scrub our bum.

When groomers wash your dog, it’s two shampoos
and sometimes three,
Our hairdresser doesn’t shave our privates
so that we don’t smell of wee.

Because when we see our hairdresser,
We know their job stops at our head.
We don’t call their reception desk and
ask for a double coat deshed.

And when it’s grass seed season,
we know where those buggers like to meet
Even when we’ve asked them kindly,
Our stylist has never shaved our feet,

Because they do not need to know
about our favourite walking path,
And we’ve never gone to see them when its
been 6 weeks since our last bath.

Our mums have never walked us in,
and asked our stylist if we’ve gotten fat.
And we’ve never tried to bite our stylist
when she’s found a nasty mat.

To compare your haircut to your dog’s
is to compare an apple to an orange,
So how best we leave this here,
Because nothing rhymes with orange.

by MELANIE THOMPSON-ALLAN

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